As It Should Be
by 19RosesofLifeandDeath98
Summary: She may not have the best grasp on human emotions, but she still has the instinct. She can't fight the impulses. Temporal dysplasia or not, the fire in her chest was real, and Cameron was the spark. Kirsten and Cameron pairing (camsten) stitchers
1. Chapter 1

**At this point, I think I've seriously read all of the other Camsten fics out there, so I've resorted to writing my own. Hope you like!**

 **Disclaimer: Obvs I don't own Stitchers**

Normally, Kirsten wasn't the kind of girl who really cared about going to bed happy or burying hatchets. If someone was pissed at her, so what? As long as she was right it didn't matter. That's why she was having trouble justifying herself as she stepped out of the elevator in Cameron's apartment building. She hadn't seen him since the stitch, but Maggie had told her enough about the results to know he probably wasn't happy with her.

0o0o0o0o0

"Do you remember anything from the stitch?" her superior asked as she stood in the doorway of the med-bay.

"I remember," Kirsten struggled, "seeing Flora press this hidden switch in her desk. It opened a passageway behind the bookshelf."

"That's correct." Maggie said stepping closer, "What else?"

"There was a little girl," Kirsten could imagine her blonde hair clearly, "she was there, in the passageway."

"Kirsten," Maggie's voice was reserved, "this was when your vitals began to spiral out of control."

"She was asking Flora not to go," she continued like she hadn't heard, "to come back."

"We checked Flora's records. She had no sisters, no nieces, no children. We don't have any idea who the girl could be."

"I couldn't see her face," Kirsten's eyes were fixed on the wall, "but I _knew_ her. Or, Flora knew her."

" _Kirsten,_ " Maggie urged, "do you remember anything after that?"

She didn't, which made her mad. Who was that girl?

"At this point, you were unresponsive and bleeding out of your nose. Ayo said it was a ruptured blood vessel."

Kirsten didn't respond. Maggie pressed her lips together in a pale line. Her stare hardened as she inhaled deeply.

"You were in there for 1 minute and 58 seconds," she said keeping her tone even, "Two more seconds, _two more seconds,_ and Cameron wouldn't have been able to unstitch you. Two seconds and we might have lost you for good, along with the future of our entire program."

Kirsten finally looked at her, "What do you mean the entire program? I die, you can just replace me with another puppet, right?"

Maggie's face didn't change but her eyes showed surprise.

"I've told you," she said, "your aptitude is unique."

"There are approximately 32,000 people in the United States with temporal dysplasia," Kirsten challenged, "over 1.5 million worldwide. You don't just need my condition, you need _me_. What I don't know is why."

Maggie was silent which Kirsten took as confirmation.

"Did Ed know?" she demanded in a cool voice.

Now Maggie's eyes were on fire and Kirsten guessed how many different ways she was imagining killing her right now.

"We can talk about your conspiracies later." she hissed, "If that really is the last thing you remember, then we're done here."

With that she left, leaving the room in virtual silence. The machines across from Kirsten displayed pulses and sounds saying she was stable and the overhead light hummed quietly. Kirsten sighed and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She needed to know more about that girl. She was important, Kirsten was sure of it.

That's when she remembered something Cameron had said. All lab proceedings were recorded for future reference. If she had said something during the stitch, something about the girl, maybe it would jog her memory. It was worth a try, anyways.

Kirsten unhooked herself from the monitor and shut it off before anyone could hear the flat line. As quietly as possible, she left the med-bay and weaved into the main lab area. The moment Ayo found her, she knew she'd be force to go through a tedious medical examination and she didn't have time for that right now.

Sitting down in her desk chair, Kirsten felt a shiver run over the course of her lean body. The metal was freezing and she was only dressed in a thin tank stop and shorts. She feverishly typed away on the keypad until she found the desired file. She unraveled her headphones from her iPod, which was thankfully still on the table, and started the video.

 **"** **Alright KP," Cameron was pacing the floor with his tablet in hand, "what's the sitch?"**

 **"** **Flora's in her father's study." Kirsten said, "She's shredding the documents. I need to go back further."**

Kirsten's eyes hadn't left Cameron since she started the video. It was fascinating to her, since she normally could only hear his voice in her ear. The nervous twitch his head made right before the neural sync, the way his shoulders tensed every time she jerked in the tank, the way he rarely looked away from her; it made her cheeks feel hot.

 **"** **What about now, Shortcake?"**

 **"** **Good. It's good." Kirsten breathed, "She's… she's reaching into the desk. She just pulled some kind of switch."**

 **"** **Cerebral temp is increasing." Ayo cautioned, "99.8 and climbing."**

 **"** **Talk to me, Love," Cameron's voice tightened, "what's happening?"**

 **"** **The bookshelf," Kirsten said in a distant tone, "it's a door."**

 **"** **Cameron," Linus was looking at his screens with furrowed brows, "something's going on with the com connection. It's wavering."**

 **"** **There's a girl." Kirsten called urgently, "She has blonde hair. I can't see her face but-"**

Kirsten witnessed the monitors all over the room go haywire, flashing bright red errors. The lab looked like it was on fire, in a way. She watched her back arch out of the chair. The contortion was horribly unsettling.

 **"** **Heart rate is 158!" Ayo was glancing frantically between Kirsten and her monitor, "She's seizing!"**

 **On cue, Kirsten's body fell limp in the chair for a few moments before arching again. A think stream of blood was running out of her nose, tainting the clear water.**

 **"** **Kirsten, can you hear me?" Cameron's features were twisted in panic.**

 **"** **Cameron!" Maggie said speeding down from the balcony, "There's still time. Bounce her out,** ** _now_** **!"**

He did. It was like watching water in a pool ripple. The monitors returned to blank screens and people unhinged themselves from their stations. Despite being the furthest away, Cameron was the first person beside at the tank. She had her hand on Kirsten's cheek, thumb hooked under her jaw, feeling for a pulse.

Hesitantly, Kirsten switched the video to 1.5x speed. People buzzed around her like drones. Camille and Linus hung back from the mob, she noticed. The expression on her roommate's face surprised her. It wasn't one that she'd ever seen her dawn. Her initial guess was fear, but vestiges of guilt were present, as well.

She watched herself be placed on a gurney and taken off screen; Cameron, Ayo, and two other techs disappearing with it. When nothing happened for a few seconds, she warped it up to 2x speed. Linus and Camille traveled off camera in the same direction as she had. After that, nothing changed.

Kirsten thought for a minute before closing the video and hacking the surveillance system. She read through the code until she found footage of the med-bay and opened it.

 **Kirsten laid passively in the bed. An oxygen tube sat just below her nostrils and wrapped around her pale cheeks. Ayo assured the group that she was stable and that the bleeding had stopped. Camille sat curled up in the corner of the room, nervously biting her nails. Linus stood beside her, arms folded over his chest- his telltale that he was uncomfortable.**

 **Cameron sat in a stool beside the bed, hands clasped between his knees. His eyes were boring holes into Kirsten's face.**

What did he think, that he could wake her up just but willing it?

 **"** **Cam," Linus began, pushing off the wall, "I know what's going through your head, right now. But you-"**

 **"** **Can't blame myself?" he growled without turning around, "Save it."**

 **Camille pounced out of the corner. She looked livid.**

 **"** **Hey," she yelled, "you got her out, okay? This isn't like last time so don't act like it is. You're not at fault and** ** _she's_** **not Marta. Or have you not figured that out by now?"**

 **Some noise that sounded close to a choke escaped her throat and she stormed out of the room. Linus looked apologetically between the door and Cameron before following her and leaving him alone in the med-bay.**

Kirsten sped up the video. Cameron still didn't make any move to leave. This intrigued her and concerned her at the same time. She leaned in close to the computer screen, looking for any sort of detail to help her understand.

Finally, he made some motion that confirmed that he was still alive. He pulled the stool even closer to the bed and placed his hand over hers, the pulse monitor making it a little awkward.

 **"** **You're not Marta." Cameron whispered, "I know that."**

 _No, I'm not. She was kind and feeling. She could love you. I can't give you that, hard as I may try._

 **"** **You're stronger than she ever was." his gaze hardened.**

Kirsten sat rigid in her chair, mouth open slightly. Strong wasn't the word she was thinking of, but hearing it come off his lips- it made her feel warm and a little proud, even.

 **"** **I trust you." he said bending so that his face hovered just above hers, "I trust that you're not going to leave me."**

 **He pressed his lips to her forehead and held them there for several heartbeats. Giving her body one finally look over, he released her hand and turned toward the door.**

"Kirsten!" Ayo's voice rang from somewhere behind her, "Kirsten, you had better still be in this building or so help me I am going to-"

"Relax," Kirsten groaned, closing the file, "I'm here. I haven't done anything risky."

The African-American nurse appeared in front of her, eyes ablaze.

"For a woman who just had a seizure and was then unconscious for 72 hours, _risky_ takes on a completely new meaning."

The corner of Kirsten's lipped twitched into the most miniscule version of a smile. It disappeared quickly as Ayo insisted on giving her a complete physical. No, insisted implied that there was still a choice, free will. That was not the case.

0o0o0o0o0

Now Kirsten was here, standing awkwardly outside of Cameron's apartment door; simply staring at the gold letters painted onto the wood. Maggie had pressed that she should call him.

"He's been a mess." she had said, "Give him some peace."

Kirsten would, but she wanted to see his face. She hadn't a deep understanding of what rage felt like besides the tastes she got from past stitches. However, she could imagine that that was what Cameron was feeling toward her right now. She had promised that she was different then Marta, but here they were.

The rational part of her mind told her that she couldn't place any blame on herself. She was doing her job. What fault was there? But there was this strange feeling she was experiencing: the desire to apologize and comfort the person she had caused to feel pain, even if it wasn't intentional. Was there an emotion to encompass that? She honestly wasn't sure.

She was stalling, which was immature. Rip the Band-Aid off fast. She knocked four times on the door and held her breath.

She heard footsteps padding toward the door, heard in wine against its hinges as someone leaned against it to peer through the peep hole. For a few moments, there was silence. Kirsten held her gaze on the glass, imagining bright green eyes on the other side. Finally, the door knob turned with a click and it opened.

Cameron's hair was a mess, she noted. He was wearing a dark grey t-shirt and a worn pair of sweat pants. Clearly, he hadn't been out today.

His gaze was intense but his face was hard to read. Kirsten shivered as a draft careened through the hallway and mentally cursed herself for not changing before she left the lab. She hadn't even thought of it. The only thing occupying her mind had been getting her, getting to _him_.

"I woke up a couple of hours ago." she said rubbing her arms, "Maggie told me to call you but I wanted to talk face to face."

He said nothing and retreated from the doorway. He hadn't slammed it in her face, so Kirsten took it as an invitation inside. She closed the door behind her while Cameron retreated into his bedroom. The blonde stood in the middle of the entryway, not sure what he was expecting her to do. Before she could ask, he returned with a grey hoodie in his hands.

"Here," he said handing to her, and Kirsten was thrown off balance by the wave of relief she felt upon hearing his voice.

"Thanks," she said softly.

He took a seat on the sofa and she moved to stand in front of the coffee table. She shifted her balance in between both of her feet.

"So, first I want to apologize for what happened during the stitch." she began with some reserve.

Cameron's eyebrows knitted together in confusion but he didn't say anything.

Clasping her hands together, Kirsten continued, "I know we needed more from Flora's memory, but now it's too late and we'll have to make due. Second, I want to apologize for breaking my promise."

At this, Cameron cocked his head to the side, still holding his perplexed expression. Kirsten sighed.

"I had told you that I wasn't like Marta," she said with reserve.

Cameron's face became sullen and he raked a hand through his hair, gaze dropping to the floor. Kirsten's skin felt like it was covered with insects. Her chest constricted like she was preparing to scream.

"Say something." she said through clenched teeth.

His eyes were foggy, like colored glass. Clenching his fists, he leaned forward on his knees and looked straight into her.

"You can't blame yourself for anything that happened in there." his voice wavered, "You were doing _exactly_ what you were supposed to do. _I'm_ the one who was supposed to watch out for you. I was supposed to _keep you safe_."

Kirsten knelt beside the table so that she was directly in front of him; her knee grazing up against his foot. She had to tilt her head back, slightly, to look him in the eyes now, unlike usual when they were virtually the same height. She was close enough to scrutinize how his Adam's apple quivered when he swallowed.

"You did keep me safe, Wonder Boy." she said earnestly, "You got me out."

"But if it had been just a second later-"

"It _wasn't_." Kirsten urged, instinctively placing her hand on his shoulder, "Even if it was, I know you'd do what you have to do. I _trust_ you."

At that word, Cameron's eyes widened slightly and he drew in the smallest of breaths. Holding his gaze, Kirsten slid her hand slowly up to the side of his face. Her finger tips moved in delicate circles, weaving locks of brown hair in between them. She felt him lean into her palm.

"I can't risk you." he restated.

 _You don't want to risk me_ , she mentally corrected him.

Instead she whispered, "I know."

She was having difficulties analyzing her present situation. Her toes curled and her heart felt like it was out-growing her ribcage. She was acutely aware of the heat growing in the pit of her stomach, but hadn't any idea what to do about it.

She wasn't supposed to be able to understand regular human emotions, and to an extent, she still didn't. But there was something deep, something _primal_ about the way her muscles tensed as Cameron leaned his face closer to hers. It felt preprogrammed, the way his breath sent shock waves across her skin.

Maybe it was that simple. It was basic instinct to pull Cameron's face down to hers, to press her lips against his and inhale his sent. It was common sense when he leaned against her, when he deepened the kiss and made her moan against his mouth. It was intense, it was right, and it was exactly as it should be.

 **Well what do you think? Thank you so much for reading and please fav, follow, comment if you'd like. As always, I'll see you next time. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**ALL ABOARD THE FLUFF TRAIN *choo* *choo***

 **Thanks so much to everyone who favorite and followed this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter, too. :D**

 **Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Stitchers, but if I did you could be sure I'd milk a good 10+ seasons out of it.**

Kirsten had kissed men before. She wasn't a very emotional person, but that didn't mean she wasn't experienced. Cameron was different. His lips were supple, soft, and warm as they moved against hers. When she had kissed men before, she had honestly gotten bored. Halfway through, she would begin wondering what encryption network their security system operated on and how long it would take her to break it.

Now she couldn't think about _anything_ other than what Cameron's lips tasted like. She identified the fire in her stomach as a desperate kind of hunger, unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It wasn't enough. She wanted more, _needed_ more.

Pulling away from him with considerable effort, Kirsten scooted backward, duly noting the small whimper that escaped Cameron's mouth at the loss of contact. Taking her hand off his face, she placed it in his own and stood up. He stood, as well, and they were once again face to face.

The room felt like it was spinning around them. They were the center, feeling the full force of gravity against them, pulling them impossibly closer.

Unable to stand another moment without touching him, Kirsten's hands buried themselves in his unruly brown hair as she pressed her lips to his. It seemed to call him to action, surrounding her lean form in his arms.

Cameron had one hand pressed against the small of her back and the other traveling north to new territory. When his fingers grazed the nape of her neck, Kirsten's body twitched out of rhythm and she laughed into his mouth.

He pulled away, eyebrow raised in intrigue.

"Stretch is _ticklish_?" he said with a playful lit to his voice.

Her face remained unchanged, but she began taking the smallest steps backward.

"Of course not," she tried to keep her voice even.

Cameron narrowed his eyes and his smirk widened.

"I think you are." he said moving closer.

"Easy, Eyebrows," she was taking larger steps, "you don't want to do something you'll regret."

"Oh no," his eyes were dangerous, "I really do."

With that, he pounced at her like a cat. Kirsten let out a curse, barely side stepping out of the way in time. He stared up at her slightly dazed for a moment. Her agility must have taken him by surprise. She took that as an opportunity to get out of range, darting out of the living room toward the bedroom.

"I'm serious, Cameron!" she called over her shoulder.

"I know!" he was right behind her.

In an instant, she realized her situation was hopeless. Even if she got to the bedroom first she wouldn't have time close the door. She needed a new plan. Stopping short of the bed, she spun around and waited until Cameron was practically on top of her. Then she ducked under his arm and watched his momentum send him crashing onto the bed.

Before he could react, she jumped on top of him, only giving him enough wiggle room to turn over and face her.

"Do. Not. Ever." she leaned in close, her face hovering just above his, "Try to tickle me. Understood?"

Cameron's gaze moved from her to face to her hips pressing against his pelvis.

"You know you weigh like 95 pounds, right?" his eyebrow quirked again, "I could easily just throw you off."

"Oh," she said with mock innocence, "Macho Man doesn't like me on top?"

Cameron's cheeks turned a bright scarlet, his grin quivering with embarrassment.

"It's not," he stuttered, "It's not that. I'm sure you… I mean I'm sure you're more than satisfactory… on top. Or bottom. Either one. Both, even. Not that I-"

"Hey Romeo?" Kirsten rolled her eyes.

Cameron swallowed, "Yeah?"

"Stop talking."

0o0o0o0o0

They didn't speak until a few minutes after they'd finished, both needing the time to catch their breaths. Cameron laid flat on his back, Kirsten's head on his shoulder so she was completely cradled by his left arm. She could feel his heartbeat against her cheek and decided that she wanted to fall asleep to it- every night, if she could have her way.

She knew that wasn't going to happen, however. Cameron was drumming his fingers mercilessly into her side. That meant he was anxious, which meant that he wanted to talk. Kirsten could have been the first to speak, it may have even helped calm his nerves, but she was enjoying the silence. Not that she didn't revel in their sarcastic debates- especially when she won- but just being close and listening to his breathing was nice, too.

" _So_ ," Cameron said cautiously.

"Yes, Dr. Goodkin?" Kirsten smirked.

"So," he tightened his arm around her a little, "we just had sex."

"Uh huh." she nodded.

"And it was good?" his voice cracked.

Kirsten raised her head so that he could see her face. She bit her lip dramatically and narrowed her eyes.

" _Well_ ," she hesitated.

Cameron's jaw went slack and he gave his ' _oh really?_ ' stare that she'd become quite accustomed to. He brought his hand up to the top of her head and ruffled her hair violently in retaliation. His face was now completely blocked out of her vision by untamed blonde frizz. Kirsten huffed, clearing the one side of her face.

"I'd say you were pretty satisfactory," she admitted, "top _and_ bottom."

Her victory was claimed when the red flooded his cheeks. She couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"Don't be embarrassed," she insisted, "it's a compliment."

He rolled his eyes but matched her smile, "Well _you_ weren't too bad yourself, Sparky."

Without warning, he enveloped her in both of his arms and rolled over so that she was caged beneath him. She giggled against his lips as he kissed her again. They didn't stay there; his lips wandered across her jaw line, down her throat to her collar bone. All the while, Kirsten squirmed and laughed as he was breaking the one rule she'd given him.

She felt so strange. She felt _light_ , like she didn't even need to reprimand herself for giggling like a braindead school girl. She debated asking Cameron what emotion this was, but didn't bother. She liked not having a name for it, letting it be just this mysterious, airy feeling that filled her up and made her skin float.

When his mouth started to go lower, she took his face in her hand, covering his lips with her thumb. She was already breathing a little harder from laughing and needed to be fully recharged before doing any of _that_ again. She told him as much.

"Well, well," he beamed, rolling onto his side, "I do apologize, Lil' Darling. I didn't mean to wear you out."

"I will hurt you." she muttered as she propped her head up facing him.

Their torsos were only an inch or so apart, the space narrowing at their hips, and their legs were entangled with each other. Kirsten's eyes focused on the hollow of his throat, tracing her fingers along the contours of his muscles. She was trying to see every detail, feel every fiber of his skin.

Her hand ceased just above his scar. The raised flesh had been hidden from her; she'd seen it by accident. When they had stripped themselves, layer by layer, she could hear his breath hitch as he exposed it again. She could see the fear and reserve in his eyes, searching hers for judgement. She answered him by kissing him softly, trailing downward until it was beneath her lips; knowing that when the moan escaped his throat, his insecurities had been forgotten.

Now she traced small triangles with her forefinger just above the mark, absent mindedly. She hadn't once asked about it. She simply trusted that Cameron trusted in her, and knew he could tell her when or if he wanted to.

His eyes closed and his breathing fell into a metronomic cycle.

Kirsten was certain he'd fallen asleep until he sighed deeply and said, "Where do you want this to go?"

She didn't respond right away, concentrating on her triangle.

Eventually she decided to avoid answering and asked, "Where do _you_ want this to go?"

Cameron puffed air out of his nostrils, an action caught between being a grunt and a sigh, obviously wanting her to speak up first. When he opened his pale green eyes, Kirsten felt like she had been knocked off her axis. The intensity in his stare made her feel totally bare, not just physically- considering she was already naked- but emotionally, too.

"I can't do what Linus and Camille are doing." he said rubbing his hand up and down her forearm, "I can't just be friends with benefits. I like you _way_ too much to do this and not get even more attached to you."

Kirsten moved her elbow beneath her so her head was lying on the pillow, golden hair splayed out around her like a halo. She felt cold again, but from the inside, and shifted closer so that she was nuzzled against Cameron's chest. He responded by hooking his arm underneath her, hand resting just above her head.

"So we either need to stay friends or try to be… _more_." she reasoned.

Cameron nodded.

"No middle ground." she muttered.

He nodded again. His muscles were tense and his eyes were wide. He was waiting for her to decide. Kirsten found herself having to consciously ask her lungs to expand, remind her heart to beat.

"Staying friends is probably the safest option," she didn't look at him.

"Probably," he sounded disappointed.

"Most likely save a lot of awkwardness, down the road."

"Most likely."

Her ribs felt too small, her skin too tight. She shouldn't have let this happen. It would be almost impossible for her to go back to a bed that he wasn't sharing with her. What little resolve she still held dissipated when she met his gaze. His expression was straight up depressed, like she'd already walked out of his life completely.

"Cameron, I can't…" her eyes stung with moisture, "You know I can't _be with you_ like that."

"Why not, Princess?" his voice dropped, sounding a little frustrated.

"You know why!" she sat up suddenly, hugging her knees to her chest, "I can't _do_ romance, Cameron. I can't have that… that _connection_ with you, with anyone! I'm not made that way."

She pressed her face into her knees, blocking out the room's warm light. She could feel his eyes on her and more than anything wanted to vanish into thin air. The mattress groaned slightly as Cameron shifted his weight. Kirsten could feel the heat of his body radiating onto her bare back, felt his breath send goose bumps across her skin. The tip of his nose grazed her ear lobe and she shivered.

"I think you're wrong." he said into her hair.

"You think you've outsmarted my genetics?" she asked dryly.

"No, but I do think you're psyching yourself out."

"Please elaborate, Dr. Professor." she said picking her head up.

He sat behind her and encircled her in his arms again- an action that he was quickly learning he enjoyed. Her back rested against his torso and he sat his chin atop her shoulder.

"I know TD's made it hard for you." he murmured, "But I'll be damned if I've ever seen you let agency regulations or being held at gunpoint or stupid genetics keep you from what you want."

The corners of Kirsten's lips twitched upward and Cameron placed a lingering kiss on her cheek.

"Do you want me?" he asked.

Kirsten scoffed.

"I'd say the last," she glanced at the clock, "47 minutes have been a strong indication that I do."

Cameron chuckled, "Okay, so what's stopping you?"

"I told you." she sighed, "I can't-"

He squeezed her tightly, making her gasp. Kirsten bit her lip, trying to formulate a more _acceptable_ answer. As she had tried to previously establish, she was bad at this whole feelings thing.

"I don't know…" she struggled, "I don't know _how_ to love you, Cameron. I want to. If this is what love is like," she placed her hands over his and tilted her head back so that it rested on his opposite shoulder, "I know that I want it. But what if…"

He twisted so she had to look at him.

"What if what?" his forehead pressed against hers.

She brought her hand to the side of his face and he leaned into her touch.

"What if I can never return it?" her lip trembled, "What if you give me everything and I try but I _still_ can't love you like I want to?"

Cameron held her gaze for a moment before dropping his. It made Kirsten's heart cry out. Grant it, she had been the one just saying they should stay friends, but that didn't mean she wanted him to admit it.

"Well, you know what they say." he said hesitantly.

No, she didn't. She didn't know what they say. What do they say?

He saw the panic in her face and smiled.

"It's the thought that counts."

She blinked at him as she processed what he'd said. Then she pushed him as hard as she could until he skirted off the end of the bed. He tumbled to the floor, along with a bundle of sheets, laughing as she climbed on top of him and kissed him.

 **And the fluff train has arrived at its destination! Alright, enough of my bad analogies. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope that you enjoyed it! Until we meet again...**


End file.
